can't turn back

I won't lie - it's been very difficult being Catholic in a sea of Protestants.  I can count on one hand the Catholics I am close to.  I lived in the Protestant world for 17 years, so I had the opportunity to surround myself with Protestants, almost all of whom are anti-Catholic.  (Actually, I can't think of anyone who isn't anti-Catholic.)  

I've let the thought enter my mind at least dozens of times, "Why not quit?  I could quit and go back to Protestant life and everything would be easy again.  Imagine, no more arguing.  That would be soooooo nice, so easy..."  

St. Peter's words respond in my head, "But Lord, to whom shall I go?"

Once you've sought the fullness of the faith, you can't turn back.  Plain and simple.  If I imagine walking away from the Eucharist, my body literally feels slight trembling.

And so I stay.  I carry on.


The words of Pope Francis have touched me so much already, and he's only been pope for what, like 6 weeks?   He said to young people at St. Peter's Basilica at the 50th World Day of Prayer for Vacations on April 21st, “Listen for the voice of Jesus and bravely ask him what he wants of you.” 


This encourages me to the core.  I know the Catholic Church is where Jesus wants me to be.  It certainly takes bravery to be willing to go wherever he asks me to go, including when I asked him to show me what he wanted his church to be, and he lead me to the Catholic Church.  I didn't have any idea I would end up here.  But I asked, and here is where he wants me to be.

So by the grace of God go I....

kristy

need something uplifting

Some troubles on my heart have left me searching for something uplifting today.  I need to be reminded of all of the wonder and goodness that comes from this life.  Sometimes I feel like life is just full of suffering.  But if this life on Earth is only for suffering, why would God make promises in His Word of a long life?  Who wants to have a long life of suffering?  


There is so much beauty and goodness in this life despite the struggles.  I just get my "blinders" on when I get down and only focus on the suffering.  I have to find the balance that reminds me of all of the wonderful things.

“Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith. I don't agree at all. They are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the Passion of Christ” 

― C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer

Ahhh.  C.S. Lewis always has something to make me feel better.  

I am learning more about the redemption in suffering.  Before a few years ago, I never understood that our suffering could allow us to join in the Passion of Christ.  Paul says in Colossians 1:24 

"It makes me happy to be suffering for you now, and in my own body to make up all the hardships that still have to be undergone by Christ for the sake of his body, the Church"

And James 1:2-4

"My brothers, consider it a great joy when trials of many kinds come upon you, for you well know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, and perseverance must complete its work so that you will become fully developed, complete, not deficient in any way."

I needed something to give me hope to continue to fight the good fight.  Good will come from the suffering.  I will continue on.  I will pick some flowers and tickle my kids.  And there I will find the goodness in life fresh anew.

Thanks be to God.

kristy