At the time that I accepted that my life was falling to pieces, I reverted to Catholicism after being an evangelical Protestant since I was 15. My conversion, or reversion, was a process that God started in my heart about a year and a half earlier. There were several things that held me back before, and as my life started to crumble apart, I ran home to the Church that my Lord has prepared for me 2,000 years ago. It was been a beautiful, absolutely magnificent reunion for me. I could go on and on about it, but I will post more on that later.
My oldest little boy, Todd, turned six not too long ago. I enrolled him in the same Catholic school that I attended when I was little. He has only been going to Mass for about five months, and it has been a transition for all of my kids. They used to have children's church at our Protestant churches, and they were entertained there while we attended service. So for my then five-year old to go from that to having to sit for an hour and be quiet during Mass, well, it was quite a difficult transition. And he is going to Mass twice a week, once with his school on Tuesdays and once with me and his brothers on Sunday. So it's been a challenge for him.
Todd is a very special boy. He has always studied people and their emotions. He is reflective and contemplative. He is loving and kind, and he has the best manners of any kid I know.
But he is six yeears old. Mass is boring to him. When you're a six-year old little boy attending a Catholic church for the first time in your life, it is boring and almost like torture compared to what he experienced before.
Every Sunday morning I race around getting everyone cleaned and ready to go to Mass. Every Sunday morning Todd complains about having to go to Mass and explains why he doesn't want to go (again, because it's boring). I usually explain to him that it is very important that we worship God and tell him that it is very important to me for us to attend Mass. Sometimes I explain to him (briefly, because I am not sure how much he can take in right now) that it is important for me to go there and receive the Body and Blood of Christ. I am not sure how much he understands, but I can tell he often thinks about what I just said.
This Sunday he complained that all Mass is is sitting and standing and kneeling. I knelt down beside him and explained that it is so much more than that. I explained that while he is sitting quietly and standing quietly and kneeling quietly, that maybe something will happen to him on the inside, and I put my hand over his heart. I told him that the reason that I love going to Mass is because of what happens to me on the inside. I told him it is very special and from God. I wasn't sure if he understood, but he stopped his complaining. Maybe it was so that I would stop the lecture. But I was glad I had explained it to him so that he could remember it the next time he felt like complaining about Mass. I was happy to be touching on the real "meat" of faith: what happens on the inside. It was a great seed that I felt like I had planted, although Todd never said anything about it.
Last night as he was waiting for me to tuck him into bed, he shoved his fists up in the air and said, "Yes! I get to go to Mass tomorrow!" (He has Mass with his class on Tuesday mornings.) I was shocked to hear the excitement coming from him. I didn't make a big deal of it, because I was just literally too shocked for words.
So I contemplated it and asked him this morning about what seemed to be excitement from him about going to Mass. He grinned and admitted that he likes Mass. When I asked why, he replied, "Because I get to sing and worship God." Again, I was absolutely speechless.
How special it that?!?!
I am so blessed to have this special little guy who amazes me beyond words. My heart is warmed to a higher degree this morning. There are no words to express the gratitude that I feel to my Lord for such an amazing gift.